Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
OK. Fine. Am not going anywhere. And yes am gonna write more. I've gotten enough support. But let me warn you though, it ain't easy. You know, updating n stuff. But am gonna try.
Hope I ain't sounding ish ish. Its just that, as Monica Roberts (a regular reader n commenter of this blog) said, its tough figuring out the balance. How much to reveal, how much to hide. Coz with all honesty I cant be yapping about my life here...as in eeevrything! No can do! Siwesimek! (slang for I can't make it – realised that I need to be translating such considering I have readers from all over the world!)
So, as Amy, Sinia and Monica said in commenting on my last post, one way to know how it is to live in Kenya is by reading my blog. Cool! I'm gonna try. (I said that already!)
So, last thing before I off, remember when I said I was off my meds, well I discovered that my teeny booblets had reduced!!! Imagine! I was so so shocked. So lesson learnt. Do not not take your meds. Its a matter of life and death! (for the boobs that is!). While we are on the topic, why am I talking boobs alone? Why am I even mentioning body aspects? First reason that pops into mind is because well, boobs are the true definition of womanhood. No, that does not mean that all women (even those identifying as) have to have boobs. It simply means that, for me, boobs = womanhood, atleast for the look. The reason am saying this is because sometimes there are women without boobs and men with boobs. So basically it boils down to how you identify yourself and what fits best for you.
Hopefully tomorrow or next week I shall tell something little about my oh so boring sex life!
*XOXO* (p.s. am not mimicking gossip-girl! she copied me!!!)
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
Know what? I didn't have an answer. All I had were excuses. Oh this oh that.
But the main reason (the one I feel fits best) is that I no longer feel anonymous. I like the anonymity. Unless I convert the blog to be more public, more me, it just cant work. The only way it will (as I think) is
if Lindsay came out.
How is that gonna be? How am I gonna handle it? These are some of the questions I keep asking myself day in day out.
More importantly, how is my decision to come out (publicly)(internet-ly) gonna be? Because, then, people will know me, how I look, who I interact with and so on.
One thing I know is that somewhere in the future, be it in weeks, months or even days, I will be in the public limelight. There is a gap in activism that I feel I should join. And my colleagues also feel the same. But these are questions I'm battling with.
How will my family take it?
How will my 'friend' take it? Will he leave me just to avoid public scorn? And if he does leave, will I be able to find another? Or will I be able to remain single?
How will my friends (those who don't know about my condition) take it? Will they abandon me?
How will I take it? Will I be able to handle whatever publicity that will be thrown at me? Will I be able to lead the same lifestyle I have now? Will it still be the same? Will it be better?
How will the public take it? Will they do something to me? Will my landlord chase me away? Will I be encouraged? Will I be scorned?
So so many questions. One thing I don't like doing is saying out loud that something bad will happen to me. Because I feel that in some way, you attract it to yourself. But I refuse that. I refuse to believe that completely.
As for now, I wait. I hope. I believe.