Monday, August 10, 2009

CONFUSION

It’s been quite a while hasn’t it? I know I know…seems like I've just left you guys out and forgotten all about you. Trust me, I haven’t. Maybe that’s the last thing on my mind right now.
I'm going through a lot of moved emotions right now. Its getting quite complicated, my life that is. I have someone new in my life and we’re taking it slow. Things are looking good on that department and I'm very thankful.
Honestly I can’t quite put a finger on what's bothering me all of a sudden but all I know is that the anxiety is getting stronger and more intense as the days go by, or as the d-day draws nearer.
I'm feeling confused about a lot of things and as I said, right now, I don’t exactly know what it is.
The good news is that I applied for a position at an NGO that asked for applications from persons within the LGBTI community and I am so praying that I get it because it means that I might just start my growth earlier than planned!
Also as I said, there is someone new in my life. He is one of a kind; that’s all I can say for now, and frankly, I'm smitten! I think I mentioned a little about him on my blog ‘I'm a Flirt’. He is the guy I flirted with a lot and I guess the flirting paid back handsomely!! (Pun intended, hehe..).
The slightly bad news isn't new at all. I'm still sad that I have to wake up every day and wear a shirt and tie or suit and go to work at a place I like, but cant enjoy because I'm not myself.
These things are hurting me and I guess maybe today they’ve manifested themselves a lot more. I usually don’t like thinking about it but every now and then I shed a few tears and pray hard that my misery shall be put to an end soon.

When I get the time, I will share with you some of the hurdles that my kind of people, especially in Kenya have gone through just to try and be ourselves and be happy.

May peace rest in our souls now and forever more, Amen.

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