The last time I posted anything about me was a while a go and so this one is as the title reads: an update. As I also said in one of my recent posts, life has been just so so. Not much happening to write home about. That it, any way related to trans life. But then again, I am a girl and I do lead a life and therefore that’s something to write home about. And who better to understand my life that the people who read my blog?
I am glad that the org. that I work with decided to keep me for a while longer. I am happy for that and I could never be more grateful. The work is the same although it will increase with time and I will also have to do better than before in order to make me relevant. General work life hasn’t been much but its all good.
I have been spending a lot of time on social networks lately and funny, my focus shifted from facebook to twitter! The amount of tweeting I have been doing is a lot! The experience is good and if you ask me, I kinda prefer it more than facebook although the latter does have more integrations than the former. I still love facebook even then.
Nowadays, my focus is on living my near-boring life and carrying on with it. I still do get some stares and whispers behind my back but somehow I tend not to notice them anymore or just notice very little of them. All the same, they will never go away. People will always have something to say about me and you know what? I am very very glad and happy and thankful that I am able to ‘pass’ easily and without raising too many eyebrows. Very few people have a clue about my transgender identity and I even get hit on and winked at! It’s really cool. Such a nice feeling.
If there is one thing that I really appreciate and like nowadays is how seamlessly people refer to me as ‘she’ and ‘her’ and all other female pronouns. It’s so nice. Such a nice feeling I tell you! Even when my relative the other day referred to me as ‘he’ it didn’t bite me that much. I let it go. And more so, I nowadays don’t get irritated when people use those male pronouns on me. I am okay the way I am and I present as such so, such wont deter me at all. And besides, chances are that if that person uses such a pronoun, s/he will immediately correct his/herself or be corrected by someone else.
I was recently thinking about my former workmates and how I miss them when I saw a picture of some of them receiving company vehicles in the dailies. I hit me that I may have misjudged some of them by cutting them all off without giving any of them the benefit of a doubt. Maybe some of them would understand me, maybe even accept and interact with me. I don’t know that for now, but lets see what happens when one of them calls me later this weekend. I still don’t trust them. It can be hard for them you know.
Something else that makes me sad is the fact that it’s been a while since I saw my cousins. Most of them are younger than I am and therefore I don’t think they would even understand what the **** I am doing to myself! They'd think I’m crazy or something! Also remembering that not all of the older relatives of mine quite agree with my decision. But then again sometimes when I look at this I ask myself, what is it this thing I did to myself? Did I wake up one day and decide to become a girl? Did I do something to myself?
So there. My thoughts so far. Life isn’t so glamorous that I can be writing every single day about it. So far all I can say is that, I am still planning to go for the minor surgery, then after that I can purchase the estrogen pills. Which reminds me, the extension of my contract came with a medical cover and too bad one of the disallowed costs is hormone replacement therapy. Aww snap!