Musings...

I wonder if there is any girl, trans girl, out there, who likes the word "shemale". Why would you want to be called that? Or even "tranny". I don't like the words. I think they're derogatory. They're just wrong. Why would anyone want to always keep reminding me of the fact that I grew up male? Isn't it torturous enough just walking around with something hanging to always remind you? Then you come with your words to make the wound more sore?

I am still wondering about whether to tell or not. One of the things that are making me wonder is me asking myself, does it matter?

Does it matter? I ask that simply because I wonder if your view of me will change just because I I have "something different" from other girls. I wonder if your intentions of knowing me were even genuine. Or maybe you're just curious. But really, should it matter?

Here I am, trying hard to just be without being reminded constantly of this cross I carry, and yes its going well and am confident in my skin, but please, it is indeed harder when I have to reveal my medical history every now and then.

I think that's something I've been keeping in mind for quite sometime now and I do know that I have written about it quite often.

On a lighter note, I am happy about the progress my body is taking. In April it will be a year since I had the surgery and began taking hormones (which reminds me, someone accused me of being addicted to hormones... I wonder why he said that. Hmm.. anyway..).

I was curvy before I started, but a few months down the line, my hips broadened and I've noticed my waist getting smaller and smaller. Now, my boobs are larger and are getting fuller. I no longer use enhancers! That for me is am milestone.

I stopped worrying about my image and appearance a while back. I still do worry about it now and then, and the one thing that keeps reminding me of this, actually two, is that I still shave and I still have that lump.