Sunday, January 16, 2011

Musings...

I wonder if there is any girl, trans girl, out there, who likes the word "shemale". Why would you want to be called that? Or even "tranny". I don't like the words. I think they're derogatory. They're just wrong. Why would anyone want to always keep reminding me of the fact that I grew up male? Isn't it torturous enough just walking around with something hanging to always remind you? Then you come with your words to make the wound more sore?


I am still wondering about whether to tell or not. One of the things that are making me wonder is me asking myself, does it matter?


Does it matter? I ask that simply because I wonder if your view of me will change just because I I have "something different" from other girls. I wonder if your intentions of knowing me were even genuine. Or maybe you're just curious. But really, should it matter?


Here I am, trying hard to just be without being reminded constantly of this cross I carry, and yes its going well and am confident in my skin, but please, it is indeed harder when I have to reveal my medical history every now and then.



I think that's something I've been keeping in mind for quite sometime now and I do know that I have written about it quite often.


On a lighter note, I am happy about the progress my body is taking. In April it will be a year since I had the surgery and began taking hormones (which reminds me, someone accused me of being addicted to hormones... I wonder why he said that. Hmm.. anyway..).


I was curvy before I started, but a few months down the line, my hips broadened and I've noticed my waist getting smaller and smaller. Now, my boobs are larger and are getting fuller. I no longer use enhancers! That for me is am milestone.


I stopped worrying about my image and appearance a while back. I still do worry about it now and then, and the one thing that keeps reminding me of this, actually two, is that I still shave and I still have that lump. 


7 comments:

Ariel said...

Glad to hear a mostly positive update!

Amy K. said...

I do hate those terms, but the "he/she/it" thing is the worst. I mean, "it?" That's dehumanizing.

I couldn't see being addicted to the hormone medication itself, but one can certainly love the body changes enough to get hooked on that. Ha ha!

Gay Nairobi Man said...

I am guilty of using the word Tranny.

What is the best reference? Transsexual?

Monica Roberts said...

@Gay Nairobi Just use trans people


Lindsay..glad to see things are working out great for you.

Tamaku said...

Coffee ama tusker? Let me know what's up xx

Anonymous said...

It's almost a year by the way...

Denis Nzioka said...

Hey, just doing my blog rounds. Making a stop over to my trans neighbor. Good to see you are making progress with the transition. I see you and yes, it is working. However, I still look hotter and more beautiful (O:

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