Monday, July 8, 2013

I Wanna Wear A Bikini!!

I was responding to a comment made by one of my readers Brandi Rae on a previous post"I'm Jealous of Cissexual Women" Here's her comment:

I'm so sorry for the extra difficulties, discrimination, and drama you must put up with just because you are trans*. But I wanted to tell you, that the people in your life who decide not to be close to you based on your body meeting their expectations...those are not the people you need to share closeness with. The people who will love you for the woman you are, regardless of the package you're wrapped in...those are the people you need to hold close and not let go. And they are out there, I promise!

I am a ciswoman myself, and I am naturally hetero, mostly interested in men, and I do love cismale anatomy... however, if I loved a man and found him sexy and wanted to be close to him, and then found out he happened to have a V instead of a P, it actually wouldn't be a big deal at all for me. ALL bodies are sacred, all intimacy is a gift and privilege to cherish, and EVERYONE should be able to feel sexy and desirable in the body they have.

So if you wish to have surgery, I hope you can do so, but I hope you're not convinced you need it, just to make a potential partner happy. I hope you would be doing it to make yourself happy.

Remember, that with many surgeries, you might not ever enjoy sex as much, or you may never experience orgasm again, due to nerves being cut or scar tissue, etc. So it's not something you should do just in case your future partner would like it better. YOU are the one who will live in your body forever, so make the decision for YOU. Besides, there are lots of people out there who have no trouble finding a body sexy, because they love who is inside it. I hope you do find them. I wish you so much happiness! Sending internet love and hugs! <3 em="">
My reply to her was:

Hi Brandi,

I think my fear mostly with surgery is about that - loss of sensation and sexual appetite and the like. I hope it doesn't go away since I do do want to have the surgery. And no, it is not for the pleasure of anyone but of my self! I abhor the way my genitals look, feel and behave. I want to be able to wear a bikini and walk around Mombasa beaches without a care in the world. Right now that is but a dream. I have won swimming costumes but it is a one piece with a skirt-like cover around the waist area - to hide any bulges that might protrude.

Thanks for the well wishes though! I know I will find love someday :-)
 While I was making the comment, it reminded me of how Isis King had a hard time when doing photo shoots that required her to be in a bikini. She spoke of how she'd 'keep everything intact' using tape and I'd think to myself "Gosh, I can't do that! Maybe use sanitary pads!" Just look at her before she had surgery:

I didn't want to show the pictures where she's spreading her legs (boy do I hate that! Reminds me of a time I was with this guy and he kept wanting me to spread my legs around him and I couldn't and he didn't know why - eventually I had to tell him. Huh! He wasn't interested! :-( )

After the end of ANTM, she had her surgery thanks to help from Tyra Banks and bam! She could do sexy poses such as these:

 We all know where we're looking at right? Yup, the crotch! I WANT THAT! I want to be able to spread my legs comfortably and not worry about a bulge or 'things falling apart'. And I want it so bad! Not for anyone, not for a relationship, but for myself. For me to feel COMPLETE.

I know it will happen one day, I guess I just can't wait anymore!



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