LIFE GOES ON(2)

Yes, nothing major has happened in my life. Its like I faded into normalcy of girlhood. Still getting the hang of it-being a girl in Nairobi. I love my life. Its easy, manageable and yes, no more pretence. I am so happy. Reminds me of the movie Transamerica where the trans lady, Bree tells the guy from the American Psychiatric (something) whether he finds it interesting that a surgery can cure someone of a mental condition! Well, okay, for me it ain't anything surgical but the fact that I live as me (finally!) is very exciting.

Life as a girl is interesting. Its different from what I had imagined but I cannot rule out the fact that it still is me living. Nothing much has changed. If anything, I am still the same, only dress and look differently. Something I have to keep reminding A about since he was very much concerned about this whole transition thing changing me into “those women” that he doesn't like.

There is some good news though, I finally got a house! Yes! I'm moving by the end of the week and I am ecstatic! Its larger than what I had before and better. But with most things, not everything is spic and span, there are small flaws here and there and some stuff I will have to change up. But all in all I am glad and happy. Things are going better. When me and my mom went to pay for the house, I remember her telling me that she ensured she had gotten all the pronouns and names correctly when talking to the owner so that she doesn't make any mistakes! I really love my mom! She makes things easier :). Can't thank her enough.

And with all this, I pen off. Until another day people. Thanks for being there for me; couldn't have done it without you.

*Hugs!*

COMING OUT TO MY MOTHER… AND OTHER STUFF!

The day I came out to my mom that I was a Transgender, I did it in the most simplest way I could thing of. As a matter of fact I was not able to go to her directly and speak to her. I didn’t have the guts at all! As a matter of fact, I was so scared to a point where I thought she would reject me!! So I only did the most rational thing I could think of. I wrote her a letter. It was a three page foolscap with so many words trying to describe what the hell was going on in my mind at that time but I am so grateful I did it. You know, by the way, for people like me, its never easy revealing some potentially dreadful facts to the people you love and especially to the one who bore you in her womb! You can imagine what was going on in my head. I remember I slept at around two am in the morning as I waited for her to go to sleep, the night before I went back to school. At that time, I still didn’t identify as a ‘transgender’, a term that was still new to me, but I knew I suffered from a condition known as gender identity disorder or GID as may be known by others. So I based my explanations on this.
I went on about how I've always felt like I was born in a different body, how I never fitted in in high school, about how I used to be called ‘kasupuu’ in primary school, so many little anecdotes filled that foolscap because I felt I had to tell it all. Further more, it was just around the time I was clearing my O-levels and I was kind of stressed about it all including the fact that it was my last year in high school. I had so much in my mind (I still do!!) and I just had to let it go somehow.
So I told her. To my surprise, she took it so well! In fact, after I finished, she was so supportive that I could not believe it myself!! I mean! For her to just take it so easily like that, I was flabbergasted.
Today, she always sends me anything she finds about the issue and also she alerts me whenever Tyra brings something about it on her show. Also,(and this is the best part!!) she promised to support me financially once I clear my studies this year!!
I am so waiting for next year with beated breath!! Its gonna be the year of change for me!! I am so excited, I cant wait! All these years I have waited for the day that I will walk in town and in public wearing a silky strapped dress and stilettos! You have no idea how much I have dreamt of that day. Sometimes I think to myself and say, I really don’t care who will judge me, as long as I am myself and im doing fine! This is about my life and I'm not taking any chances!! Would you?
The other day I was browsing through the internet and I stumbled onto this chic who is totally now my hero! Her name? ISIS!! She is the first Transgender Top Model on the ANTM show cycle 11. I mean! She must be the epitome of all of us who strive to have a life she has began living and more! She is now a model, besides the fact that she was born a boy! I'm so excited about her!
Enough words for today..see you all soon!
Thanks for hearing me out! Hope to hear from you soon!

God, Thank you so much!

Be hopeful this week!