Gender Sensitivity-by Lo(Enigmaress)

I liked this post I saw somewhere and I thought I'd share.

Gender Sensitivity

Written by Lo Nyambok

Monday, 04 August 2008

MIRIAM RIVERA- MODEL Well, about a month ago someone had written a NOTE on facebook to explain how complicated it is to try pleasing everyone when it comes to GENDER ISSUES (especially in the US/UK etc). The thing is, everyone wants to be identified based on whatever gender they are- it might not necessarily be the gender they were when they were born. Trust me, it gets so complicated to attempt to get everyone happy and stay POLITICALLY CORRECT etc etc The main talk was about what should be incorporated in documents, as in: PLEASE CIRCLE ONE GENDER THAT PERTAINS TO YOU: 1. Male 2. Female. 3. Both. 4. Mixed. 5. None etc Anyway, as a person who is in the healthcare industry, I know how tricky it gets with people who may have had a sex change or prefer to be referred to as one gender (Say a WOMAN) when physically they are percieved as the opposite gender (Say a MAN) HERE IS MY RESPONSE TO THAT NOTE: Wednesday, June 25, 2008 at 2:48pm I took this multi-cultural class last semester and I thought I knew everything about everything. Until a student explained something on TRANS-SEXUAL (NOT TRANSGENDER, there is a big difference.) TRANS- GENDER being that its what the person perceives in their mind as to whether they are MALE or FEMALE regardless of what their physical body is perceived by the rest of us (feeling like a female- when physical body is male vice versa). They then like to be referred to as THE THIRD GENDER, BI- GENDER. (I am not an expert in that field but thats how I understood the explanation- I am hoping I have that accurate.) A TRANS- SEXUAL is then a person who is TRANS- GENDER and undergoes a series of surgical changes (I think-lol!!) Known as SEX RE- ASSIGNMENT THERAPY. They are usually asked to live life as the gender they FEEL/THINK they are (Male as a woman or woman as a man for 1 year) first, then if they can handle it, thats when the surgery is done. Lord have mercy on their troubled souls, I cant even begin to imagine what they go through. (As a WOMAN- I feel like a damn raging retarded alien sometimes KEYWORD: SOMETIMES), all the changing hormonal balances- makes me UN-HUMAN sometimes- but am sure its nothing close to what a TRANS- GENDER person goes through on a daily.) I respect everyone though, there is always a collective ignorant thinking where most people instantly perceives themselves to be the RIGHTEOUS people- who understand 'what GOD wants.' So people treat other human- beings like Trans- sexuals or Trans- gender as though they are Sub- human. People use the BIBLE and GOD to condemn other people talking about about its UNNATURAL to be a Trans- person. My opinion to such blatant IGNORANCE is that- if you think youre perfect, that youre the full definition of what humans should be, that you should be accepted the way you are because youre nothing but PERFECT... then what are you doing on EARTH with us mere Mortals? You should be in HEAVEN with GOD based on that PERFECT mindset. I always believe that if a person doesn't like what they see or hear, then they are not obligated to deal with or put up with a circumstance that does not suit them. People are so quick to judge each other based on trivial excuses justifying violence and insults using the LORD'S NAME and THE BIBLE. ASK MIRIAM RIVERA who was in that reality show; THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT MIRIAM (MIRIAM is 100% MAN & THE ONLY SURGERY SHE HAS GONE THROUGH HAPPEN TO BE THE BREAST IMPLANTS, EVERYTHING ELSE IS INTACT- ESPECIALLY THE ONE BY HER FINGER TIPS.) I didnt watch the show, but saw something about it one time on VH1- The Men were in complete shock @ the end of the show... I always stick to one main principle in my life- GOD IS LOVE- period!!!! Meaning the same GOD who took his time to create YOU (As special as you are) is actually the same GOD who also took his time to create Trans- persons, and we are all different as different can be but we are also unified by one CREATOR. Its like someone telling me that its UNNATURAL to be AFRICAN or its UNNATURAL to be A WOMAN (Wouldnt that be the most ridiculous absolute stupidity that anyone could possible ever say??? lol!) I try and imagine my reaction to that and its quite hilarious. I know that I used a super simple analogy, but its really that simple. They are who they are and choose to live their lives based on whatever suits and makes them happy, so why should I care or lose sleep over people who have nothing to do with me. Actually that was not even my POINT- my point as you can read from my 1st sentence is that I thought I knew but I didnt. This student explained to us that TRANS- GENDER/TRANS- SEXUAL people are considered STRAIGHT. (Now at this point my entire jaw hit the floor- I was too confused.) Meaning if a person perceived themselves as a FEMALE and believe it in their mind their minds that are truly FEMALE even though they have a "WRONG" body of a man- then they actually get attracted to a MALE. So if I a person feels like a woman inside then they will be attracted to MEN right?? (Even though all you will see is a MAN'S body-) So in that case it makes a person STRAIGHT, the TRANS- GENDERED person who has a male body will be attracted to your male body- because they - FEEL FEMALE. If you call then GAY then they get extremely offended!!! THIS CLASS really opened my eyes to something that I never even thought could turn out to be so complicated in a way. So as a health care provider we have to take all of the whole GENDER SENSITIVITY into consideration. Meaning, if a person walks into the hospital and my eye sight percieves a MAN but this person tells that "HE" is a "SHE" WOMAN, then how can I decide what room to admit them in? We always have females and males paired in rooms by the same sex- to provide privacy and psychological comfort. As a woman, you don't wanna be bending @ the hospital to wash you face in the morning, and imagine a dude scanning and zooming in upon your very bare behind through the open ended hospital gowns- RIGHT?? So who will you pair a patient who physically is a MALE but believes themselves to be FEMALE?? You CANNOT force them to sleep in the same room as a dude, because they will be traumatized!!! They need a FEMALE companion & FEMALE-ISH room to place their powder, perfume, make- up brush, make- up set, Toner, Cleanser, Bras, panties, thongs, nail polish, Chocolate, face massage, lipstick, wig, eye-brow tweezer etc. I still cannot figure out how Id handle that particular situation. How confusing is that? CONCLUSION; People should understand that GENDER DIFFERENCE is NOT the same as SEXUAL ORIENTATION- My other super principle in life RESPECT! RESPECT! RESPECT! I might not necessarily agree with a person's point of view, opinion, thought process- but I never DISRESPECT people for what they stand for and believe in- thats what makes LIFE- LIFE! THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT MIRIAM PT #2 On February 27 MIRIAM WAS HOSPITALIZED with multiple broken bones and internal bleeding after she was attacked and thrown from the 4th floor window of her New York apartment. STORY ON MIRIAM'S ATTACK SERIOUSLY????- How sad are we as HUMANS?- Attacking another person & gaining nothing from it? If someone does not like something about other people-people they do not know, people who are not causing anyone any harm or affecting other people's life (Your life)-Please, just let them be- SAD, SAD STUFF. By Lo (Enigmaress)

THEM DAYS...

I was rummaging through my old stuff and I came across a journal I wrote when I was having one of 'them days'. I had lots of those. And one way that helped me get through them was through writing down my thoughts, feelings and emotions. Kinda like what I'm doing here. So here it is.

This day was difficult. Something happened and suddenly my peace of mind went blah! I just don't know whats wrong with me. I'm so moody!!! Just now, I smsed my drama director that I will be quitting drama! Just imagine! He has just replied telling me to persevere for a while but I'm telling you the way I feel isn't normal! I don't know whats wrong. I just feel so bad. Everytime I try to be happy I am reminded of my reality; that for me to be true to myself and be happy I have to be myself, and thats not possible right now. Its so saddening. Its so sickening. Makes me feel like cursing the day I was born and altogether giving up on life! Aargh!! I'm saddened sometimes to think that maybe this is what I put on myself. I let this happen to me. Ive always felt pretty and beautiful and today its not like that. Today I'm sad. I'm down. I'm deeply confused, heartbroken, angry, all those mixed feelings! Nowadays I feel like I've lost my glow, the one I had back in high school when I was being hit on my guys knowing perfectly well that it was a boy school! I feel like the manly look is improving by the day. I'm no longer noticeable and even that photo I took of myself looks weird now! Huh! I keep telling myself everyday that I am beautiful both inside and out. I guess it will wade off. These feelings shall go and I will continue with life. But how will it be? I know too well what I am capable of. But I cannot achieve much because I keep holding back. I keep looking over the shoulder. Trying so hard to hide my true self. Trying so hard not to be affected by what people say about me when they see me doing something 'awkward'. I keep reminding myself of my acting skills. I can act like a boy. It will be okay. Even if I'm not one, I can act like one. Maybe it will sink in. The manliness. The masculinity that I so lack. Maybe I will find a way to live this way. Maybe, just maybe. Despite the saying about wishes, I only wish I was on one side. Male or female. Like I would wake up one day and it will be well. That my faith in God somehow makes it happen or someone somewhere gets a sort of vision and makes a prayer and voila! I'm free!! I wish... oh I wish!

It ended that way. Most of it is edited. Some things I couldn't put here. But its what I felt then. About four years ago, when I had just cleared from high school.

COMING OUT TO MY MOTHER… AND OTHER STUFF!

The day I came out to my mom that I was a Transgender, I did it in the most simplest way I could thing of. As a matter of fact I was not able to go to her directly and speak to her. I didn’t have the guts at all! As a matter of fact, I was so scared to a point where I thought she would reject me!! So I only did the most rational thing I could think of. I wrote her a letter. It was a three page foolscap with so many words trying to describe what the hell was going on in my mind at that time but I am so grateful I did it. You know, by the way, for people like me, its never easy revealing some potentially dreadful facts to the people you love and especially to the one who bore you in her womb! You can imagine what was going on in my head. I remember I slept at around two am in the morning as I waited for her to go to sleep, the night before I went back to school. At that time, I still didn’t identify as a ‘transgender’, a term that was still new to me, but I knew I suffered from a condition known as gender identity disorder or GID as may be known by others. So I based my explanations on this.
I went on about how I've always felt like I was born in a different body, how I never fitted in in high school, about how I used to be called ‘kasupuu’ in primary school, so many little anecdotes filled that foolscap because I felt I had to tell it all. Further more, it was just around the time I was clearing my O-levels and I was kind of stressed about it all including the fact that it was my last year in high school. I had so much in my mind (I still do!!) and I just had to let it go somehow.
So I told her. To my surprise, she took it so well! In fact, after I finished, she was so supportive that I could not believe it myself!! I mean! For her to just take it so easily like that, I was flabbergasted.
Today, she always sends me anything she finds about the issue and also she alerts me whenever Tyra brings something about it on her show. Also,(and this is the best part!!) she promised to support me financially once I clear my studies this year!!
I am so waiting for next year with beated breath!! Its gonna be the year of change for me!! I am so excited, I cant wait! All these years I have waited for the day that I will walk in town and in public wearing a silky strapped dress and stilettos! You have no idea how much I have dreamt of that day. Sometimes I think to myself and say, I really don’t care who will judge me, as long as I am myself and im doing fine! This is about my life and I'm not taking any chances!! Would you?
The other day I was browsing through the internet and I stumbled onto this chic who is totally now my hero! Her name? ISIS!! She is the first Transgender Top Model on the ANTM show cycle 11. I mean! She must be the epitome of all of us who strive to have a life she has began living and more! She is now a model, besides the fact that she was born a boy! I'm so excited about her!
Enough words for today..see you all soon!
Thanks for hearing me out! Hope to hear from you soon!

God, Thank you so much!

Be hopeful this week!

“THOUGHTS THAT CROSS HER MIND” – A Third Person View

She wakes up every morning and puts on the usual; shirt and trouser. Surprised? Don’t be. That’s how its been all through her young life; living as someone else. Its frustrating, she says. Ever imagine if it was you? Ever imagine if you would be forced to put on other clothes other than those you are used to, or better yet, those you just know you are supposed to wear? I guess when you look at that question you go, “Hmm, I wonder how that might be?” Yeah! It really is mind boggling! She looks at the mirror as she prepares herself for work. Inside her head she tells herself, “better not look too much like a girl now, you don’t want trouble now, do you?”
Weekend comes by. Yippie, she gets excited. Its time for her to flaunt some of her goodness around. But wait! That’s gonna be hard don’t you think? Yeah! I mean, she is flat chested isn’t she? So? Oh! Right. We just have to work with this for now. After preparation, im amazed at how stunning she looks! What? No mascara, no makeup, no nothing! Its her, just the way she is, all natural beauty!
Passing through the busy streets of Nairobi, its easy to notice the weird and confused stares that come her way. Maybe some say to themselves, ‘why is that guy dressed like that’ or ‘haiya! Is that a guy or a girl?’ very much confusing right? Must be making her all uncomfortable now I guess. But she says its been like that ever since high school, and primary school; this isn’t the first time.
All she wants is for the stares to be something else. Yes, she doesn’t mind the stares. She wants them to say, ‘oh how beautiful’ or ‘wow! That’s one gorgeous girl’. Nothing much. She only wants to be a normal Nairobi girl!

We pray that Hope and Faith never dies away. Dreams will be fulfilled. Amen.