Here is a letter I had written to God in desperation. I had many of these, I just happened to come across this one. If my prayers were documented, I'm sure they'd fill up a whole library!! Wish I'd remember the day I wrote it though!
Thank you for being there for me. I am in a deep rut and I am afraid I cannot get out. It seems the devil has gotten the better of me. Now I'm too afraid to even face you. I am begging you Lord to purge my spirit. Touch me once more. Touch my mind and remove all these crazy ideologies I may have developed. Please Lord, I'm languishing in torment and the torture is unbearable.
I don't know myself, only God knows me. Only He can do with me what he wants but I have to submit, I cannot be His if I don't change.
Its upto me to become the change I want to see.
Am I truly female? Is there anything such as transgender or gay? Personally I do not understand gayness but the situation I am in really puts me in a total fix!
This question I hate asking; WHY?
Why wasnt I born okay like the rest of the guys?
Why did I become such?
Why is it that my feeling go 'wayside'?
Why oh why?
Is it my fault? Am I to blame?
Did I bring this on myself??
The letter ends there. Its interesting but you tend to see where I was coming from.
I don't want to write much today. Nowadays I seem to read a lot and forget to write about what I'm reading and stuff like that. There are so many issues to deal with, to write about and sometimes, I think that one can never really read everything. So I just tell myself, one day at a time.
Hope to have more juicy stories to write about!