Wednesday, November 25, 2009

A LOW STREAK? - November 18

It seems lately I have been writing a lot about being low, lots of sad notes. I am not one to remain sad and low all the time but the situation begs to differ. Yes. Times have been sad for me. Indeed I have been low and down, stressed and almost depressed. Just having the blues I guess. :-((.

Somehow, I blame this sadness of sorts on one person, or maybe its the hormones taking a toll on me! :D This one person that I have been referring to as 'my special friend', from today I will call him A.

If there is one thing I dislike is ranting and raving about someone I cherish. Maybe its because I expect nothing but the best from them or something but I just hate being sad especially when its them making me sad.

I haven't seen A for almost two weeks now. We have been talking on phone, yes, almost everyday even, but I just want to see him! I wanna hold him! I want him to hold me! (This must be the very first time I speak candidly about my private life! Hehe!). I want to hear sweet nothings in my ear, someone to listen to my yabber jabber! There is so much on my chest just begging to be off!! The steam is easily let out with my head resting on his chest. Its like a breath of fresh air! I miss him so terribly I'm almost exploding! He has been really busy of late and I'm turning into a worried wife! I don't like this at all! In fact, I must confess, I have been tempted to 'enjoy' myself with one of my admirers but I respect him too much to do that and plus, I really cannot possibly have that in my conscience and keep a straight face. I just cannot be with two men at one time. It just cannot register in my head!

I know this blog is meant to educate people on transgenderism and transsexualism and mostly on a personal view of my life, and I know that today's blog may not necessarily touch on that topic but with all due respect, if I'm gonna tell people about my life in transition ans a Kenyan Transgender girl, then surely the love life of this girl must feature somewhere at one point or the other!

I love what I do, who I am and I'm proud of me. One of the ways I let off steam is through writing. I write on my journal at home and most importantly this blog also is a steam releaser for me. Another way is speaking incoherently, babbling away to myself when I am alone in the office. Self talk. Trust me, it works!! After a 20 minute incoherent babble, I feel much better. Its a sort of therapy for me. One of the ways that I was able to deal with all my issues with me being a transgender.
So now that thats take care of, lets get back to more important issues. My main agenda. I hope I will be posting something else soon because I just gotta share my thoughts soon or I will explode!!!!

Great sharing a bit of my love life with y'all!!!


Amy K. said...

Please don't ever feel you should justify writing about your feelings. This is your blog, after all. So go right ahead. It's the personal aspects of people's lives that interest me the most.

That said, I'm so sorry you're feeling low. I hope you get to see A very soon!


Lindsay said...

Thanks Amy.

benj said...

mapenzi ni kama kikohozi....hata ukijaribu hayafichiki :)

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