July 2, 2009
Sometimes I sit back to relax my eyes for a while from the glare of the computer screen and I ask myself, ‘do I overwork?’ I hate that question! I don’t like it at all! And its mostly because it could be true! I mean, who works this long on a regular ‘kawaida’ salary? I work like 12 hours straight! And sleep only 6! Funny isn’t it? Not!
We need to take care of ourselves. I need to do the same for myself. I just have to!!
Since this is supposed to be some kind of ersonal journal it carries most of my thoughts which as I had mentione earlier, they are a lot! And I do mean a lot! Sometimes I don’t know what to do about it. I just sit and find myself thinking. Thinking about my life, about my supposed career and where it is headed. Mostly I think of the impended future. I just don’t know how its gonna be. Its gonna be tough, I think.
July 9, 2009
WHEN WILL IT ALL END?
Last night I remembered that I hadn’t updated my blog readers on the latest and that it had been a whole week since I last wrote anything.
It was also last night that I felt sad. That sadness I always feel when I ask myself that question, ‘when will it all end?’ it’s a question that never leaves my mind and always keeps me on toes. I'm an emotional person, so last night wasn’t the first that I shed a tear when I was overcome by this daring question. Yester night as I was reeling myself to sleep, it came to me. I had only six more months or so and it will all be over. All I had to do was to remain strong and trust in God. Its not easy. I tell you I have struggled and I'm still struggling. Seeing myself wake up every morning, put on a shirt and tie and refer to myself as ‘he’ makes me squirm all over all the time. I feel like I can scream someday at someone who tries to tell me to get a girlfriend!
I'm just hopeful that when that time comes, life will not be too harsh for me. I'm prepared for a tough journey, seeing that Kenya is not into this kind of stuff, but I will push through, I have to…its a must.
I have delayed this updating thing yet again. I don’t get it sometimes. I'm so good at this (or so I think!) yet I just sometimes don’t get enough time for it! This week has been so busy, leaving work so late at night! Today I'm all alone in the office. Everybody has left and I'm here…still working. As I had said earlier, maybe I do overwork myself. Maybe I just enjoy doing what I do so much that I don’t realize that I spend a lot of time doing it. All I think of is the office. When I'm free, I find myself craving to be there. Maybe it’s the free internet and I get to surf. Maybe it’s the ‘cheap’ and available meals I get at the restaurant. I don’t know yet. But I had realized this when I was on leave a while ago to do my exams and I was craving for my desk, literally! It was a funny thing but at one point it wasn’t all that funny. But do I say?
Wow! This is a long read! I sometimes wonder whether anyone actually reads my stuff or I just do it for my own satisfaction. You jnow sometimes its hard to tell whether people like you or even want to listen to you…that’s a story for another day. I'm gonna give this a rest now.
Rest is a golden opportunity taken for granted. Cherish it!