Today is Friday and thus the weekend begins. When it comes to weekends I get clueless because I have no idea what to do. (by the way, I just remembered that blogs are public! oops!!) so what do I do?
I hear people say they are going out and I smile and say, ‘good for you’. As for me, I don’t get to do that because I'm somehow antisocial. I don’t get it myself. I tend to be very introverted when I'm around people, especially if they don’t know me. Its because, the way I am right now, I cannot be myself completely without sparking some attention. Okay, I don’t mind being noticed as somewhat queer, but sometimes I sit back and tell myself how much I would have enjoyed if only I had been fully myself. It would have been so easy. Dress in stilettos, a really cute pink or yellow flowwy dress, clutch bag and gorgeous hair and makeup..a perfect evening for me. Oh how I have dreamt of that day..how I have yearned for the day I get to do all those things!
Of late I have been chatting with one of my facebook friends who claims to be in love with me. He tells me all those sweet nothings and to be honest, I have shed a tear or two whenever I read those darling words. He has wooed me for so long, sometimes I feel sad for not accepting him. But I have kept my distance because I have a guy..sadly, this guy has a habit of only reaching me after every two to three months. I really don’t know where we are headed. And its sad because I feel that I am in love with him(something I have never admitted, ever!) and I don’t know where he stands. Someone may tell me, why don’t you call him and ask whats up? Its not that simple. He doesn't have a phone, or so I think. Sometimes I think he is trying to push me away. I have told him so several times, now my heart cant take it anymore. I feel that I should just let go and start afresh. Its hard, I don’t want to lose him. We've been together for the last almost 5 years!
Aw! Enough already! There will be more tomorrow!! :-)