Wednesday, July 15, 2009

MORE OF THE YESTER

I felt like going home early today. Yesterday I left at around 9pm (yes, I know!). But then I felt I should at least finish what I started. I wouldn’t want to sound all boring but have to tell you, this writing thing is new to me, albeit the fact that I write nearly everyday!
It never occurred to me that I was a Transgender. In fact, that word, I came to know about it like 4 or 5 years ago, when I was in high school. At least I knew it was a disorder. It wasn’t easy (I don’t know how many times that’s gonna appear in this blog) and everyone knows that by now. I would see girls my age flirting with guys and it would make me sick to my stomach. Some chic somewhere would hit on me and I would squirm as if a spider fell on me! But that was just the bag side of it. Somehow, there existed some nice, laughable and memorable musings in the time.
We were young. We were entering that age; that age where the older folk call ‘raging hormones’. Yes, that one. Funny enough, I somehow garnered some admirers! Weird? No. I came to later understand it all. I simply explained it as ‘opposites attract’. How else would you put it? Besides, (no offence) I ain't gay!
Guys approached me. Told me all sweet nothings. Felt nice, felt weird, felt confusing; all the while trying to figure my life out. To some, I said no. I didn’t feel the same. To some, ofcourse, I couldn’t resist. They wooed me. Just the same as they would woo others when we went for ‘school outings’.
I don’t know how some of you can describe it. For me, once I came to understand me, it would all be clear as crystal. I was a girl. Period. Of course discerning that wouldn’t be easy but it had to be done. I had to understand me if I wanted to live a ‘normal’ life. If I wanted to survive.
Sometimes I feel like I'm not supposed to write about me all the time, sometimes I tell myself, ‘why don’t you ask others what they go through and have it written here?’ but then again…naaah! Maybe someday I will.
Sometimes it feels nice to wander off sometimes and wallow in the masma of wordings! (I also didn’t get that!!)

My boss just dissed me. Aargh! Chat later.

Ciao!

4 comments:

Pater Nostra said...

Enchanted One,

You are interesting, Child. I love this.

A nondescript Catholic saint once said, 'It is then we vanquish when we consent to he truth.' Another crazy guy, who is no different from the saint, as they are all the same, also remarked, 'Be yourself always and GOD will bless you.'

You are on the right path.

P.S. Tag us along.

Keep writing.

Tamaku said...

Wow. Tell us more.

Gay Nairobi Man said...

I just commented on Pater's blog when he linked here that I don't understand transsexuals.. I am hoping that my foray into your blog will help me understand. I will link back here and follow you. Just because I am gay may not mean I would gain that knowledge easily.

You will excuse my ignorant elementary questions as we go along.

Let me go read

Enchanted One said...

Pater, I cant thank you enough...
Tamaku, i will try to spill more...
GNM, hope you come to understand us..also check out marshakarrine.blogspot.com

I am gonna try en make ppl know all about us...that is..all GLBTI.

God Bless.

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