Lady Boy???

Labels.

I hate labels.

Friday January 28, 2011

New Thai airline hires transsexual stewardesses

P.C. Air – a new airline in Thailand – has hired three transsexuals among its first batch of air hostesses, Sin Chew Daily reported.

The successful candidates include Miss Tiffany Universe 2007 winner Thanyarat Jiraphatpakorn, 23.

They will be given a "third sex name tag" while on duty to avoid immigration issues.

Miss Tiffany Universe is the most popular beauty pageant contest for the community.

It is an annual event held in Pattaya. (read more)

Labels.

Heard this story on Kiss 100 FM today morning on the Big Breakfast and I thought to myself, "what a nice thing to do". But then I was like, why specifically "transsexual"? Why even go further and say "lady boys"? Why not just say "transsexuals are also encouraged to apply" so that its a level playing field?

Just a thought... you tell me

XOXO

2010: My Best Year EVER!!!

I just realised that the year has gone and I have not paid proper tribute to it.

You have to realise that 2010 for me, was THE BEST YEAR of my life!!

Lets just walk through it and we see.

January was the time I finally went to the doctor to get checked, was worried about dealing with repercussions of transition.

February came and I was moving, oh the drama! Then came the time I was worried about losing my job. Life in March was getting better.

April was the month I had my Orchidectomy! In May there was me enjoying my life even more, and in June I blogged about my sexuality and about just how much my Mum means to me :)

July and August passed... September saw me reminisce on the day I said "enough is enough", October came, November too and in December I met most of my family for the first time. What a day that was!

And there it is. 2010 laid bare. And damn was it good! It saw the real me come out properly; like a blossoming flower, blooming and letting loose! Oh am so happy!!!

So far so good. I am more and more thankful. Beyond being at peace with myself and I could never be any more grateful for this opportunity.

My focus now is to see others in my position, or who are still wondering what,when,how,why,who and see if I can do something. Because I want this for someone else too.

*XOXO*

RIP: David Kato

Its truly sad what has happened.

May his soul rest in peace and may his fight and the fight of all Ugandan LGBTI rights defenders and all others in EA grow in heights. A martyr he has become.

Ugandan Activist David Kato Murdered

David Kato

Human Rights Watch is calling on Uganda to promptly investigate the murder of David Kato, a prominent lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex (LGBTI) activist working for Sexual Minorities Uganda (SMUG). A man entered David's home today and assaulted him with a hammer. He died on the way to hospital. David was on the front cover of the Rolling Stone tabloid with the headline "hang them." David was one of the plaintiffs in the successful lawsuit against the Rolling Stone.

Read More ...

XOXO

Musings...

I wonder if there is any girl, trans girl, out there, who likes the word "shemale". Why would you want to be called that? Or even "tranny". I don't like the words. I think they're derogatory. They're just wrong. Why would anyone want to always keep reminding me of the fact that I grew up male? Isn't it torturous enough just walking around with something hanging to always remind you? Then you come with your words to make the wound more sore?

I am still wondering about whether to tell or not. One of the things that are making me wonder is me asking myself, does it matter?

Does it matter? I ask that simply because I wonder if your view of me will change just because I I have "something different" from other girls. I wonder if your intentions of knowing me were even genuine. Or maybe you're just curious. But really, should it matter?

Here I am, trying hard to just be without being reminded constantly of this cross I carry, and yes its going well and am confident in my skin, but please, it is indeed harder when I have to reveal my medical history every now and then.

I think that's something I've been keeping in mind for quite sometime now and I do know that I have written about it quite often.

On a lighter note, I am happy about the progress my body is taking. In April it will be a year since I had the surgery and began taking hormones (which reminds me, someone accused me of being addicted to hormones... I wonder why he said that. Hmm.. anyway..).

I was curvy before I started, but a few months down the line, my hips broadened and I've noticed my waist getting smaller and smaller. Now, my boobs are larger and are getting fuller. I no longer use enhancers! That for me is am milestone.

I stopped worrying about my image and appearance a while back. I still do worry about it now and then, and the one thing that keeps reminding me of this, actually two, is that I still shave and I still have that lump. 

Happy New Year!!

Its a brand new year! Got so much I want achieved this year! Can't wait to get it on with..



Its been 8 months now... from when this happened! I'm so excited.

One of the things am looking at closely is this. So by April I should have progressed more! Yay!

Life is sweet. I don't take it for granted not one bit! I am forever thankful.

Its good to be me. To be truly me. I like the way (though not so much a good thing) my friend tells me "you're such a girl".. makes me smile....

Anyway, I'm still here... still alive... still smiling... still pretty (apparently).... and still.....

ME!!


XOXO

Yeah... Boys Again!

I can't believe this.

I just can't believe am blogging about the same issues all over again. Maybe written in a different way but still, its the same thing.

BOYS.

You know, the sad part is that I am in a relationship. A good one at that. And no, its not that the relationship is on the rocks or anything, quite contrary actually, its amazing. Its the sad fact that I, being oh so monogamous n all, can't and won't cheat on my M. I won't. I can't.

Yet the temptation is always there. Always. And it keeps increasing.

Sometimes I feel like am gonna do something about it... like become ugly or something.... just to avoid boys getting interested in me..... but then there is that fear that if I do that M will not be happy.... though he should be into me for me and not for how I look like.... then again, .. argh! Sucks!!

I know, I know... this is the usual stuff (most) girls go through. Sometimes I think I'm too nice. Or something close to that.

But I am left to wonder.... when I see my friends and peers... and hear all the stuff they go through.... and how they don't hold onto a relationship for long... because they're always cheating n stuff.... I always find it interesting... how someone can do that..... you know... sleep with several people within a span of a few months.. or even weeks. I can't do that. I honestly can't.

Yet that's the least of my worries. I said I've mentioned this before. I feel so bad. Because I'm meeting new people all the time and I'm always wondering when or whether at all to tell them about "my medical history" (as Bree on 'TransAmerica' puts it). And its more for the guys who (obviously) are into me. It gets hard. And let me just go on ranting because this will help me (and maybe someone else out there) figure it out..

Anyway... lets see.. I will know what to do..


XOXO

Merry Christmas and Boxing Day to you all!!

TESTING TESTING 123...

Hey there.

Just testing how I can keep y'al updated via phone. Lets see how it goes!

XOXO

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Sent from my Nokia phone

My Family Reunion

Our family had a reunion of sorts recently and I was invited. Yes I was! Here's what happened.

10.00 am – Too scared...

I was extremely nervous. I didn't know what to do, whether to show up or not. I was freaking out so much! EVERYONE was going to be there! And guess where it would be taking place.... my relative's place. Yea, her. Later on you'll see that she's getting there. My grandparents were there too. Yes, one of them who wanted to tear up this article when it was shown to them.

2.00 pm – Sh!t am gonna be late!

I was supposed to be there by then! I'm still so so far, stuck in traffic and to make matters worse, our roads ministry decides to do repairs on our road! Bummer!!

4.00 pm – Sh!t am so so late!

Damn! I'm 2 hrs late. Even the food's finished and some people are already getting tipsy! Oh! I walk in and I see one of my smaller relatives. She's like 4 or 5 and this was the first time she sees me. “You look like Leo with make-up on” she remarks.. this would go on the whole time I'm there. I couldn't help not feeling sorry for her. I just wished it was easier breaking it down for her.

Soon am in and my mum sees me and her face lights up. She's overly excited to see me. I later learn that she was very anxious and worried that I wouldn't make it, that Id develop cold feet. She introduces me to everyone. Gosh! There's like 20 people here! Oh how am I gonna handle this? Such thoughts cross my mind. Some of them couldnt stop staring at me. Some of them embrace me, the ones who've met me before and are supportive. I am such a blessed girl. So so blessed. No one was offensive. Not even my grandparent! What more could I ask for?

The boys...

I meet the boys. They're seated outside since the women and children are inside. Quite a very African type setting where women sit over some tea and biscuits inside and watch tv as they exchange life stories while the men sit outside over beer and spirit bottles talking about who scored and what game is next...such stuff.

So I go outside to the boys. They stare. The good thing is that a quarter of them don't know me and another quarter don't remember me. The rest are family. They know me. Just hadn't met me. I'm all tense. Ever since I stepped in I've been so tense! I greet them, exchange pleasantries and get to know the newbies. They're family too, I learn. I can see my family finding it hard to introduce me to them but luckily they don't slip on the name thing. They say it so well. I almost shed a tear or two; in my head I'm like “Why me? This is so surreal! Never expected this”.

Back inside we start chatting with the rest of the women. I can see my relative, yea her, she tells me she's happy to see me. I'm surprised. She continues to say that its gonna take her time, a long time to get round to it but she's happy I'm happy. I tell her she can take all the time she needs. She still has an issue with the name. Still difficult letting go and using the new one. I can see she's trying but she's struggling. I understand we're wired differently and people do things the way it feels best and right for them. I can't blame her. I can never do that.

Too Many Questions.....

I meet a long lost friend of a relative; practically family too. This would be the first time he meets me. Hes dumbfounded. The first time he vehemently denies that I am the same person he knew two years ago. (he was out of the country). We sit and talk and I explain to him everything from start to end. I promise to give him more literature to help him understand. I can see he's also quite mesmerised by everything and can't believe his eyes. Its not something easily understood in matter of minutes. But he's okay with it and even compliments me on my beauty. I am thankful, I tell him. Thankful that I am more than blessed. Later on, after some drinks, I talked to my male relative who was also finding it hard to grasp things. And we agreed that more sharing was to be done. Probably another family gathering!


*****

It was a good day. Best of all is that they're supportive. I am overly amazed. More than amazed!! I cannot say just how much I am thankful to the Almighty!!!! I have absolutely no words to describe it.

*XOXO*

Getting Hit On

One of the nice things about being me, being myself, is that I now get hit on more than before. Oh yes, if you've read my blog, you've seen that I acually was being hit on by guys before, and the occasional girl (eek!).

But this also comes with a price. Let me break it down in two ways.

1. When I get hit on by a guy am not interested in – Nairobi girl thought process.

Here definitlely the first thought that pops into my head is “What the eff are you trying? You really think you got game? You ain't got nothing on me!” That's what I think. Because honestly, I ain't interested. And this happens mostly in matatu rides! A guy (usually the kange (slang for conductor)) looks at me and goes “Wawawawaaa si ur hot! So do you mind giving me your digits?” Okay, seriously? This guy, who is clearly way off my radar, off my 'is-hot' scale, things he's got a chance with me. And even then, that I will just smile and say “07....” and voila! Is he effing serious?? It doesn't make sense to me at all!!

2. When I get hit on by a guy I am interested in – Trans girl thought process.

Now this is the hard part. I meet a guy, maybe in the club or something. And he's smokin hot! And more so, he's approaching me!! Then he asks for my number or to buy me a drink or something. Do you know what the first thing that pops into my mind is?

“OMG! Now what am I gonna tell him? When will I tell him am trans? How will he take it? OMG he's totally gonna hate me and tell everyone He's totally gona squirm and never talk to me again! Uh!! HUH!!!”

Yea. Quite frustrating ainnit? Bah! I am yet to cross this hurdle.

But see, lemme confess, I have met guys who I thought were quite something and I was into them. Then definitely met with the same dilemma of when or whether to tell them about my past/situation. And I have told them and they were okay with it. I wonder why. I've always wanted to know what goes on in their mind when they meet someone like me. What do they think when they discover I'm not exactly what they (might have) pictured in their minds? What is it that tells them its okay? Fine, its a good thing that they are accepting, in fact, its amazing! I'm not questioning that, am merely trying to know how it feels like on their side. You know, being straight and especially being sorta off ish on gay men and then along comes me, with what I have 'down there'. Lets face it people, its a curious thing. Is it easier when what you see face value helps to ignore, in a way, what's lying underneath? Is that it? Please note, I'm not in anyway questioning why men are attracted to me, am merely poking questions. I'm trying to let your minds wander. Don't you wonder?

Curious isn't it?

*XOXO*

Family Woes

I love my Mum. Y'all know that by now. We talk/chat/text etc every day and we're like sisters (very true!). I can't at all say how much she means to me. She's my rock. She means the world to me. And she knows that. Its just that I never know how exactly to express my love/gratitude/happiness/joy/peace/understanding etc to her. I simply have no words. Everytime someone tells me "You're very lucky, you know that?" and I respond "I know..." I feel like its a brag statement. Or an 'I-don't-care' statement. Or like indifferent in a way. No, when I say "I know" I truly mean that. As in, I know, but I'm still amazed.

Not many mothers are like that. I am indeed, truly, blessed to have you mom.

Now, the harder part is getting to be 'okayed' by the rest of the family. I don't have siblings so the only other family I have is my extended family. My cousins, uncles, aunts and grandparents - all from my mother's side of the family. Its taking time to have them understand me and know me (this new me) better and see that I'm no different than the old me....if anything, I'm far far better.

I gotta admit, I miss my aunt. I miss my grandparents. I really, truly, wish they'd understand me & embrace me. I truly wish they'd see that I'm not brainwashed. That I'm a happier, better person now more than ever. Its been a while (like almost a year) since I last saw my grandmum and I feel I will be seeing her soon. I am kinda worried about how she will take me, how she will treat me, how she will relate with me. I'm just worried. But I am strong. I shall remain strong. And take it on as it comes. I shall await and see how it goes. I believe it won't be bad. I know it won't.

She'll be fine.


*XOXO*