It was in the mid 90’s and I was still in primary school. I had just recently joined a boarding school and it was tough work! I was really young and really small. But at least I wasn’t that shy. Days went by and people got to know each other. I gained a nickname ‘kasupuu’ due to my looking soo much like a girl. I couldn’t help it! (even now it ain't easy, even despite my having some hair on my face!). it wasn’t easy. But I braved through. I fought hard to keep my head up. And my being a hardliner, I also toyed with the situation and got the best out of it.
Time had passed and I had grown older. I had began this process better known as ‘adolescence’, so I started liking guys. It felt weird and nice all at once. I never understood what the h**l was going on! It was so freaking confusing! But I wavered on; pushing on, trying to make sure I keep to myself. It wasn’t easy. I found myself flirting with both gyus and girls! I played with the girls-hop step and jump, kati, bladder, jump rope, you name it! I also went to boy games like foot ball and cheered them on, all the while liking what I see! (oops!!). it was somewhat possible, yet difficult. People bashed me for apparently ‘behaving like a girl’ I tried to ‘remove’ these behaviours but nothing! People laughed at me. I felt stupid; trying to change something that was knitted in me; entrenched in my genes. It was just impossible(so it felt)!
In some words, it was a harrowing experience(I've always wanted to use that word!)! I am so glad and thankful(to God) that I was able to get out of that.
Ofcourse there is more. There is a lot more. I wish sometimes there was a way of encoding the gazillion million thoughts that race, nay zoom through my wild open mind!! But that’s a story for another day.
Do have a lovely time, wont you?!
It makes me sick, what people can do out of ignorance. Someone once said that “Ignorance makes the heart fear.” Lest try and understand each other, try being the operative word.